1. |
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there's a bitter taste in the back of my mouth
there's a spine chill with the marked down route
there's a visceral hunger in the back of my brain
clutched to my chest curled up under the rain
with synthetic diamond on its brittle perch
with her throne of ash from a tower of birch
oh sweet vict'ry i've been a terrible friend
from the top of the sky I picked up on your scent
with the quiet and dim flying like the clouds
and so lonely and harsh and deafening loud
when they're mowing their lawns till they turn to gold
it'll be twenty years till my heart unfolds
gave up my life, gave up my soul
left it in the gutter to seethe and mold
cried to God and got no reply
so then thus declare that the glory is mine
I found myself lost in the biomass
I found myself lookin' through lenses of glass
I cold myself found as the world spins round
like the Web spider weaving without a sound
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2. |
NEURO
02:34
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I could wake up from this dream
come back warm flesh be your plaything
love is cold in modern new age
love is cold these days
I could wake up from this dream
come back warm flesh be your plaything
love is cold in modern new age
love is cold these days
i could never afford a leather jacket
i tried to [?] but i just couldn't hack it
so i went and ran far away
i went and ran far away
idk whats wrong with you people
some cultures a church with death as its steeple
thats what it looks like from here
from the top of my tower of fear
I could wake up from this dream
come back warm flesh be your plaything
love is cold in modern new age
love is cold these days
so i inject these thoughts right to my brain
but even i can tell this shit is insane
but its culture so what can i do
its culture so what can i do
i woke up in a puddle of sweat
im not ready to be alive yet
everything's a catastrophe
it's all catastrophe
I could wake up from this dream
come back warm flesh be your plaything
love is cold in modern new age
love is cold these days
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3. |
A WARM DAY IN HELL
01:20
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You were a volunteer.
You were (re)designed for the pleasure of other people.
You are technically, biological. But unlike the old kind of biological specimen your cycles are all internalized, compartmentalized. Rather than allow it to spill out it is instead kept inside, so that it doesn't make a mess. Inevitably the buildup kills you painfully, but that's not a problem. There are solutions for that.
Everything's a machine anyway. A biological machine is a seething primordial soup jiggling away in a loose fleshy mistake of nature, differentiated from intelligent human design only by its complete inefficiency.
There are solutions for that.
It's a warm day in hell.
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4. |
SKIRT
02:44
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(HAHAHAHAHA)
blinking lights and everything
pounding in the exi’s dream
she says it’s such a sexy thing
and she’s willing to go to extremes
is your life in black and white?
do you feel lame and uptight?
could tonight be the night you
finally get your shit right
flashing lights and screamed lines
sorry girls I’m doing fine
you look like shit in a suit and tie
but in a skirt you look alright
is your life in black and white?
do you feel lame and uptight?
could tonight be the night you
finally get your shit right
me and my crew, we're all in the car, we're all listening to the russian numbers station, we can do this shit, all by ourselves, we got it, every single one of us looks like we've been stung by bees
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5. |
KITTY
02:17
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(i kind of wonder what sort of person you have to be, what kind of dreams you have to have... to throw your whole life away for something like that.)
music is all fucking architecture to me
its construction is its meaning its emotions don’t get through me
feel controlled, a twisted mesh of blood and sinew
maybe nothing’s wrong with forgetting all you knew
two people interact in a psychick connection
broken off finds only itself its selection
looping and trapped like a tulpa or compulsion
testing the limits of its own “human” revulsion
I wish i were a cat or an object made of plastic
pure moving form with its truth all elastic
a microphonic purr or a mouthful of fur
wouldn’t it be nice to make that violence yours
I can feel my biology hissing and rumbling
clicking like clockwork but yet occasion’lly stumbling
I’d love to live my life like pixels on a screen
a square of latex or a block of concrete
I was a hermit in my own head own head
pink walking down a faceless instead instead
your own anathema and stomach’s dread stomachs dread
she was a teenager but she’s dead, she’s dead
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6. |
POSTLIFE WOLFCULT
03:59
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you're special oh so special
and lovely oh so unique
there could be a place you belong
there could be a path you could seek
solid solemn summers on the astral plane
magical animism that stirs your heart
leaps up to your throat, "this is really you"
vodka drenched you forgot the start
and oh how my lost love
I don't even recognize him anymore.
his eyes are different now
and his soul has a lock on its door.
god knows why they were all coyotes?
they were only ever true to their soul
like the same six songs over and over
or maybe it was more but how could you ever know
grinnell, the kmart sign at 4am
reflects in the rain in a pool of blood
low color graphics where your past life died
muttering and static and howls in the wood
in michigan, I heard he died
gone to climb to some higher plane
maybe hes really been reborn
a hardy dog hunts on a dying plain
but it was a human I loved
and it was one who lived without fear
this is a world of flesh and stone
and I think we ought to stay here
and oh how my lost love
I don't even recognize him anymore.
his eyes are different now
and his soul has a lock on its door.
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7. |
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i smashed his head open and roaches poured out, a sea all over the street
i smashed his head open and roaches poured out, but it was only a dream
lots of people talk about regeneration
lots of people talk about building a soul
benadryl people tear their flesh from their limbs
lots of people down a pill whole
i really realized a little while ago the fear was just holding me back
life is a game and we're just players rearing our anxiety track
"we don't even need to shift anymore we just do this shit IRL, it's sick, if someone dies we just regen them LOL, no one minds"
lots of people blow their minds on impact
lots of people shoot and cut and kill
lots of people make love on murderdrugs
and it isn't very long till the body lies still
the world says it's bad to express a truth
the world says it's bad to cut and kill
the world says it's bad to eat our dead
the world says it's bad to pose our will
stroke my phantom invisible wings, tear my body to shreds
the truth is built it's just a lie, seattle sleepsong instead
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8. |
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don’t want to escape anymore
don’t want to forget, don’t want to forget
Wanna feel every single scratch
and the petroleum catch, and the petroleum catch
don’t wanna run away anymore
don’t wanna forget, don’t wanna forget
a child crying reflects in the sea
I don’t wanna be this, I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be
and you feel it, in, the depths of your skull
there’s a compression, a free expression
burning pain coursing through your soul
coming, walking down the halls of the world
there’s a shiver of death, a shaky breath
you sissy fuck, you make my stomach curl
i seem to have more and more trouble falling asleep at night.
i stay up and think about everything everyday, the goings on, the way I got here, I can't remember it
don’t want to escape anymore
don’t want to forget, don’t want to forget
Wanna feel every single scratch
and the petroleum catch, and the petroleum catch
don’t wanna run away anymore
don’t wanna forget, don’t wanna forget
a child crying reflects in the sea
I don’t wanna be this, I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be
I don’t wanna be
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9. |
ASPEN ASHTRAY
01:32
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i'm not a machine.
i'm not a machine.
i'm under god
this false world
flesh and blood
come down in a flood
falling to pieces in the aspens
saw you say things i couldn't hear (cigarettes on an ashtray)
falling to pieces in the aspens
landed on concrete.
falling to pieces in the aspens
saw you say things i couldn't hear (cigarettes on an ashtray)
falling to pieces in the aspens
landing on concrete.
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10. |
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It's kind of
You look up and you look at the sky and
There are birds, somehow you know there are less birds but there are birds, they chirp and murmur like a song
Memories are strange and abstract which is difficult when the world is to some extent concrete, they end up just being a collection of various scents and various textures of background noise
There is something utterly familiar to the murmur and chirp of birds and the whistle of wind through leafy branches though.
You think back to that huge apartment, how you always felt sweaty even though the AC was constantly blowing like arctic wind
You think back to dying again. With a memory like yours, full of holes like a censored book, you couldn't even begin to imagine counting the times you've felt your consciousness burn out like a candle. You can't remember the beginning of your life becoming like this. You were once told (by whom?) it was your choice.
But you know there was a time before this.
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11. |
THE RUINS
01:25
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dear come here
I know youre listening
come talk to me
I know you’re in need of someone who’ll listen
I wrote out some words to say and they were beautiful they were like poetry but they blew away
I remember there was something about rain and something about the sun but now it sounds corny so I’ll just tell you how I feel in my own words
I know you don’t think anyone could ever enjoy your company
I know you think you were born to be alone
well I was born to be alone
and it doesn’t matter how you’re born, cus we’re born screaming, and we go out crying, but that doesn’t matter and the shit in the middle does.
oh and here I am, talking instead of listening again, I’ll let you talk now, I just wanted you to know all that, I’m sorry
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12. |
ESCAPING
03:17
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single word, servant heard
understood, a winter hood
egregious in your ego
walking alone through the snow
belonging, with a ring
feeling good, you knew you would
crying with your mind blown
like you didn’t even know
when i woke up oh that morning,
blood in my ears and weather storming
rubber flesh and silicone gel
I was dead and this was hell
and it’s all fake
it’s all trash, no mistake
but it’s okay
I don’t feel anymore
hurricane’s eye, empathic whore
and I fall asleep with the rain
and when I wake up I’ve got water stains
didn’t need, didn’t bleed
whether you ever knew
egregious in your ego
walking alone, please don’t go
I was your
property
all my hearts’
every beat
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13. |
PHANTOM WINGS
02:43
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i know everything you’re gonna do
i know everything I have to do to hurt you
i have a map of the inside of your head you provided
you might as well be already dead it’s decided
i have a map of the inside of your head
i have a map of the inside of your head
eyes in disguise, in the skies, a body lies
as the sun fries, oh joy, a choice unwise
wrong were you right, time to die, a body lies
as the sun fries, oh no, he goes unwise
dont play stupid i know what youre doing
fly away on phantom wings i know you don’t feel anything
a complex map, a timecube bliss, is it really this, if we come together kiss
foolish news, a pleasure cruise with paid un-dues
do you feel true to yourself with all the changes you accrue
another way coming another day coming we all know what you really really want
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14. |
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a demon came into my room and told me you will live this again and again and again until the end of time and that's never
that things starting, it's happening again
I'm starting to feel like i've run dry of friends
she was driving straight but she ran off a bend
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
she was driving straight but she ran off a bend
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live, live, live!)
and with the sun falling three thousand miles and the burning whispers of dying isles that's forever
rock and roll shotgun kiss, destroyer, destroyer
there are plenty of things I'd miss, but for ya, but for ya
it'll be okay, I never knew any of you people to motherfuckin begin anyway
mollusking, gravid with grace for the fall
I never felt like i fit in here or anywhere
i thought wandering a hall that's built from marble and, and it becomes fleshy and soft at seemingly random intervals
i hate dreamin, i wanna live.
i hate dreamin, i wanna live.
i hate dreamin, i wanna live.
i hate dreamin, i wanna live.
i hate dreamin, i wanna live.
i hate dreamin, i wanna live.
i hate dreamin, i wanna live..
a demon came into my room and told me you will live this again and again and again until the end of time and that's never
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live, live, live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live!)
(I hate dreamin', I wanna live, live, live!)
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